BIG fun!

First of all- I hope everything's alright at home! If you EVER need anywhere to stay, please let me know, my mom would be more than happy for you to come over, she just loves you, I swear! Everything ok?

So yesterday my mom had a huge party for all her friends from work, including her one-eyed boss and her gay, black boss. Needless to say, it was a real party! There were a few kids over and for some insane reason my mom decided it would be a good idea to get Silly String. TERRIBLE IDEA. I even told her it wasn't going to go well. So she got some crap from the dollar store called, "Goofy String" and the kids loved it. It was a ridiculous MESS. And on the side of the can, it said something that made me think of YOU!

I just imagined you saying, "BIG FUN" if your little accent. Awww god, I miss you!! :'(

As for your gifts, first of all, that is SO sweet of you!! Lately I've been really into rings. Necklaces too, but rings especially. I'm a size 7, and I checked online which translates to 54 in Europe! Haha. And I'm sure my mom would love anything food related. Maybe like jams or something cute. I don't know, she's not picky! And I will absolutely pick YOU something cool up when we go to Woodstock, New York! We are in fact going to see Levon Helm at his house and I'm SO excited. It's the cutest little town. I'll be gone three days in the beginning of August. I think the 4th, 5th and 6th. I'll get you something awesome.

For now, I need FOOD. I got home from a really fun, believe it or not, night of work tonight! We were BLASTING music, and upon my request, they played some Avenged Sevenfold for me. I was SCREAMING Bat Country and Nightmare. So happy. So. Effing. Happy. A costumer actually said my voice sounded great! Haha. It's funny how A7X makes my awful job bareable. They should come get waterice. Sexy. Johnny gets a kids size.

Love & one-eyed bosses,

Gretchen

MY FRIENDS!

Thank you guys for the videos, I lol'd quite a few times xD We are definitely getting together the minute I come home. Or something like that. Oh, and when I get home I'll probably be staying with Jackson, because my home situation is actually totally crazy at the moment... well, it's been totally crazy. And then a week after I come home I'm leaving for the mountains with a friend of mine. Buuuut, Jackson's house is pretty close to yours, sort of, so it's kind of convenient!

I've been searching for gifts, and I'm come across such cool and weird stuff. I saw sooo much owl stuff and I was like JOHANNA!!! Btw, do you want any kind of foodz? Just let me know what you like and don't like and I'll figure something out. With my mental French food calculator. Ask Jo, too. And your mom!

My sister said I should just get your a huge bottle of Orangina. Dis gurl knoez wut shes talkin about!

And omg. The Asian lady in the video... I have seen her before, but OMG SHE IS SO FUNNY. "Just vibe-a-rate your head!" Crazy bitch. Buckcherry. Ew.

Some weird black guy poked me on facebook. We're not even friends, and I do not know who he is...

Back to French stuff! A couple of days ago was the Firefighter's Ball for Bastille Day. It was totally insane. Sooo many people were pushing and stuff to get in, but somehow my sister's fiance got us in through the VIP entrance. HELL YEAH, VIP. Very Important Phil. SYKE, he iz not important <3 Then the next day we went to hang out with some American people who turned out to be a bunch of BROS. So gay. And lastly, I'm going to the Normandy beach for a couple of a days on Tuesday, so excited :DD That's just about all I have to share about my France extravaganza recently!

Love and Owls,

Alice

Free Slurpee Day: 7-11 LIVE VIDEOZ!!

So we all know how effing hilarious I am, but it's just not the same since we're talking online. So, yesterday was free slurpee day. So Johanna and I decided to film our journey! This way, you'll feel like our humor has never even left you!!

For some reason I can't get the second one on the blog, so here's the link for Free Slurpee Day - Part 2

WE MISS YOU!!!!

Love & slurpees

Gretchen



Tats N' Such

I'm TOTALLY with you on the tattoos. I would LOVE more than anything to get some tatsss. Not a full sleeve... maybe like part of the upper arm. And I already have an idea. I just have to make sure I can get Corey Miller who used to work at High Voltage do it for me! He's my favorite artist, he is incredible!! Someday I'll have to show you Avenged Sevenfold's Tattoo Tour! It's on one of their DVD's and they just scan their bodies and such. It's kind of awkward but also really interesting!

So yesterday my mom brought me home some liquid gold.

So freaking delicious!

Here's a funny video for ya. If you haven't already seen this before. It's just hilarious. You will die. It's an asian lady. 'Nuff said.

Good. Stuff.

I've got some knitting so to, so I'll talk to you later!!

Love & vibe-a-rating mascara,

Gretchen



Gettin in Dat Ocean.

OMG HAHAHAHAHA. That tattoo is so weird wtf. Scaaarrrryyy baseball xD I LOVE all the sleeves. The Rev's was my favorite, but I guess I'm also a lil biased, lulz. I hope I can get a sleeve. Maybe one day if I have a lot of money, good ideas, and a job where you can't see it... or they don't care.

Well, your beach adventure sounded like sooo much fun! I absolutely love anything to do with the beach. We should definitely take a day trip sometime before summer is over. Speaking of da shore, I'm going with my sister and her fiance next week for two or three days! :D South of France, here I comeeee! My sister said your dad sounds hilarious; she read the thing about Johnny Christ needing a tramp stamp. She kinda reads up on the blog updates when I do LOL. 

And totally random, but I was watching one of A Day to Remember's music videos, and I SAW TIM AGAIN. teeheheheh. I think I already told you about this like... a while ago. But in case I didn't and I'm just hallucinating, it's in the music video for "All I Want". There's also like, August Burns Red, Silverstein, and a bunch of other bands in the video. Even Pete Wentz ;) SEXYYYY lol syke, no.

Yesterday my sister and I went to some nice Parisian yoga. It was definitely different than the one I go to, but then again I do a different kind of yoga in the States tehe. I have never sweated so much IN MY LIFE. It was so hot in there. Impossible. But the place was nice and Asian looking at least! Then afterwards we got pizza. And I convinced my sister to put pineapple on it. HAHAHA NICK HIPAAAA! Of course she loved it, who wouldn't?

Oh, and weird, but my sister's friend wants to take me to a party with her today.... but not my sister? Lolz, awkz. It's apparently at a pool at the top of a 24 story building... soooo, if I fall off and die, you can have Mr. Sheloski. And Tim. 

And that's pretty much all the awesome French stuff that's going on! Now for some funny pictures!

Enjoy!!

Love and Sexual Predators,

Alice

xoxoxoxo

I FOUND ZACKY'S TRAMP STAMP!!!!!!!!!!!

It's a drooling baseball... Zacky pretends he's a great baseball player often.

Stupid.



Tramp Stampin' the world

I can't believe there is drama going on while your in another country!! That's just low. I'm sorry. She knew you had a lil ting wit Joe, too, right? That sucks. Tisk tisk. That website, however, is HILARIOUS! I'm dying. I loved the picture, "Doorbell is broken. Please shake bottle of rocks." It's clever, yet tacky. Perfect.

Yesterday, my dad and I took out annual beach day trip. Every year we go to a different beach for a day and we went to Cape May! And I also got to go to Wildwood for my very first time! Let's just say I saw sum sleezy-azz bitchez up in dere. And my dad was pointing out all the tramp stamps he saw. It was pretty hilarious. Then he began to explain his theory of everyone with a mohawk has a tramp stamp. I then said Johnny Christ didn't have a tramp stamp. My dad replied with, "Well he better damn get one!" I told him Zacky had a baseball tramp stamp and he laughed really hard.

  WHY CAN'T I FIND HIS TRAMP STAMP!?!?!?

But this is awesome! Sleeves of the guys (in order) The Rev, Zacky, Syn. Look at Syn's arm. BIG.

I got in a batting cage for the first time in years and did terrible. Oops. It was like 50 MPH but I did awfully. I used to play softball for a really long time then I quit cause it got boring as hell and everything was on steriods. We also got these Lime Ricky's. My dad had told me about them for years, he used to get them with his dad when he was a little boy and he was SO happy to have one again, it was SO CUTE!! XD We went to this great place called The Clam Bar for dinner in Somers Point, NJ. It was a place my dad hadn't been for over 30 years and needless to say, he was SO excited once again. I got the most delicious seafood alfredo dish! With lobster, shrimp, clam and scallops! I felt RICH! It was so tasty.

Love & tramp stamps,

Gretchen

in d@ gh3tt0o0ooo!

That was the most beautiful blog post I have ever seen! It was entirely too accurate. And too nice <3 So let's see. Yesterday I went to a creperie, and I got YUMMY CREPES! I got one that had swiss cheese, mushrooms, and an egg in it. Then as a sweet one, I got one with bananas, black chocolate sauce, and vanilla ice cream. I don't even like bananas but it was BOMB. That's pretty much it. I'm soo tired. I went to bed yesterday at like... 2 something in the morning. And then got up at 11 to go to the Sunday market. FML. At least I got some feta cheese, yummmm<3

And to make the title of this blog entry at least a little relevant, I'll show you a lovely website. I'm not sure if you know it? http://www.ghettoredhot.com/ Well, here ya go! Oh yeah, Ghetto Red Hot! It's so amusing. It's actually terrible. 

Oh, and there are some updates from the states that I got last night. Apparently Cheyenne got with Joe last week. Sooo, looks like that is minus one friend for me! She didn't tell me and she doesn't know that I know, but that pretty much is the final nail on the coffin for me. That, plus the way she has been acting the past few months, just isn't working for me.It's not that I'm like, omgggg, joe but i luv him so0oo0 much, i cnt believ she ruined my lyf!!1!1 It's more the principle of the thing. I'm not really upset or anything. Which I'm not surprised about, because I don't really GET upset. Oh well. As for Joe, that's just how he is and I'm not surprised, he's just retarded xD besides, we're not technically together and blah blah blah. So I think that's enough drama :D Stuff like this just makes me appreciate the actual GOOD friends I have, like you, for example! 

Now for some nice, powerful jams!

(I am actually in love with the lyrics to this song)

You're afraid,
like I make my deals with the devil.
You've been at it for years
but couldn't reach that next level.
Let's keep it real,
this is no competition to me.
Even if everyone around you acts
like they don't see.

Is anybody else listening?
Outta sight, outta mind
is what you'll always be.
I hold my cards to my chest.
I laid my life on the line
so I expect nothing less from you.

I speak the truth,
and everybody else knows it.
So set your ego to the side
and just get the fuck over it!.
Can't waste my time
on hateful people like you.
So keep wishing you were me,
and I'll keep making you have to.

Is anybody else listening?
Outta sight, outta mind
is what you'll always be.
I hold my cards to my chest.
I laid my life on the line
so I expect nothing less from you.

I just cant believe
its really come to this
because without me
you would not exist.

Hey hey
still got somethin left to say.
Only one in the world
I depend on is me.
I need nothin from no one
I take what I need.
Get ahold of yourself
and keep away from me.

Is anybody else listening?
Outta sight, outta mind
is what you'll always be.
I hold my cards to my chest.
I laid my life on the line
so I expect nothing less from you.

That's all for now! Love and miss you!

Alice

Brainwashing at it's finest...

I was just thinking about all that recently too. I miss you so much! It's so weird knowing that we're so far away. It certainly doesn't feel like it, but then I think, "Oh, maybe I'll see if Alice wants to..." then it's sad.

And what makes me even more sad is I always think of that. Obviously the circumstances are quite different, but still, we can both relate. Maybe "Gunslinger" would be a better song for this...

Although you're not in war... the whole, "don't matter when I'm coming home to you" kind of fits. I always say, there's an A7X song for everything!

If you were wondering, it was "fat boy face." XD LOL.

I'm also not giving up on my hopes of you someday coming to see Avenged Sevenfold with us. I think you will, eventually. Lol. They're just so damn loveable! In addition to that, Syn just turned 30!!! 30 is the new 20! Damn, does he look good. I imagine him to be like the new George Clooney. No matter how old he gets he will still he extremely sexy. Same with Shads. Not Johnny, however. ;) I also love how you're not even a big Avenged fan and you still know that it's ok to pick on Johnny. XD It kills me. With joy, obviously.

I'm SO glad you're having such an incredible time in Paris!! It makes me want to travel so badly! But I also really want you back in America! I'm not sure I'd be able to survive with you gone the ENTIRE SCHOOL YEAR. SOOO many concerts would come around! And probably Black Tide, too!!! UUUUUUUGH. I'm so stoked to see them on Uproar. I just can't wait to ask them about future tours and suggest they do a teeny-tiny headlining tour and obviously, COME TO PHILADELPHIA!

Today; Johanna and I calculated it would take about 37 days to WALK to Huntington Beach, CA. Home of Avenged. And if we left tomorrow, we would be able to catch them before they leave and they would be so moved by our journey that they would give us a ride back to Camden, where we would see them preform. Then have a huge orgy.

Love & Johnny Christ,

Gretchen♥♥♥♥♥♥



Johnny Christ. Tim. Ballz.

Wait. I just remembered something. Remember those pictures we took when Johanna and I slept over that one time? And the immense amount of retard faces we made?? OH MY GOD LOLOLOL. I can't remember what we called half of them, but that's okay. 

Which in turn makes me think.... I miss you !! :((( Which is saying a lot, because I only miss like... two or three people! Yeah, I'm otherwise pretty content here in Europe haha. If I could just bring y'all over here to Paris, I would be BIG GOOD TITE.

So. When I get back. Zoo. Sleepover. Sushi date. Baking tasty stuff. Orangina. AILD and A7X DVDs. Funny pictures cuz we're models. Painting nails. Face masks. Demon Hunter. Steven Valera. Pizza. Tea. I'll just leave it at that. 

Now about my Parisian activities! A couple days ago I went out for sushi at this great Japanese restaurant, and it was so yummy! Gawd, I love Japanese food. And orangina. teehee. 

And yesterday my sister and I went to Picard to get food. Picard is a store that sells only frozen goods, and it has some really awesome stuff! Too bad my sister has no freezer... French people are weird. Then I walked around Paris with my sister and her fiance for over an hour. We went to Ile Saint-Louis, which is an island in the Seine River next to Notre Dame. We got ice cream at Le Flore en L'Ile, which is apparently the best ice cream in Paris. It better be, considering my ice cream alone was 13 euros.... so 20 bucks. It was definitely worth it though!

It's so beautiful in Paris, I love walking around! 

Now, as a closure, CATS!

Love and French Cats,

Alice.

P.S. I hope my wedding is a beautiful as Phil's, with a partner that is infinitely better than Shadz's.

Just Real Quick;

ME DRINKIN ORANGINA
IN A JAPANESE RESTAURANT LOLZ

Oooooh, Jesus.

That's SO funny that you mentioned those Jesus things! I was looking at a ton of them a day or two ago at like, 3 in the morning.

But, my newest addiction, and I think I'm catching on to this pretty late, is StumbleUpon! I found all these amazing things, including the site, Wedding Gawker! Yeah, I know. I'm crazy. And I have a thing for weddings. I don't know what it is about weddings but I just adore them. The dresses, the food, everyone is so happy at them? I can't tell you! But I dream of having the most beautiful wedding someday! On the beach. I love Phil's wedding. Lol. No lie. It was SO beautiful. I found some pictures from it and it was stunning! His wife looked so amazing and I can't believe she settled for HOLE. Hehe. Jk he nice.

Shads also had a pretty beautiful wedding. Too bad he married a brat. Hehehe. No puns.

Kind of looks like they're holding feather dusters... that's Val's twin, Michelle, Syn's bitch. :)

I can't wait to marry Black Tide. All of them.

Love & feather dusters,

Gretchen



Internet in France is Gay.

Woah, hello blog! Sorry I've been kinda late on updating, the internet on this laptop kinda comes and goes in Paris....

That Etsy stuff was.... RETARDED. Let's buy it all. Anyway, I LOVE Insanity Wolf! It's probably bad to say that, but they are hilarious. 

As for what I have been doing, a couple of days ago I went to a Tibetan Buddhist temple! They were having a celebration for the anniversary of the Dalai Lama's birthday. They had such tasty vegan food, and chai! I went inside the temple and it was so pretty and peaceful. Then I bought a little Buddha at the meditation center.

 Yesterday, I didn't do too much. No 4th of July barbecue for meeee! I went around searching for pure acetone so I could take of my fake nails. What. A. Hassle. I only got the nails off of one hand so far, and it took like an hour....

Then my sister and I had drinks with a friend of hers who was in Paris for the day. Virgin Pina Colada, yummmm!

I hope Rita's wasn't too bad, and I hope you saw at least 3 or 4 fireworks! Lolz.

Speaking of lolz, time for some Jesus Lolz! (I spent every period last year that we were on the computers in school looking these up)

Etsy fun

Since I really don't have anything to do right now, I'll send you some of the funniest/weirdest crap I can find from Etsy.com! I got my wonderful AILD leggins from there.

Corey Taylor would look nice in this. Pencil skirt to accentuate his thick neck!

This is just disgusting... and why wild animal fabric?

This just makes me wonder why is says, "OH THAT"

This is just something from my darkest nightmares

This is just too ugly for words

They have one for each member. This is just hilarious because his hair look like skin graphs on his head. And because it's Johnny Christ!!

Happy 4th of July!!

So it's the 4th of July. Like that matters in France. Here are some truly American images.

Joshua♥

Sex face.

But, I have to work at night, tonight. I hear we can sometimes see a firework or two from the window at Rita's. EFFF DATTTT. I want to hang out with friends and not work like a slave. And we don't get holiday pay or anything! A lot of companies pay time and a half or even double but NOOOOO not Rita's. Not cool at all. And I got a 10 cent raise this year. Ugh. Stupid shits. Did I mention I love my job?? XD Lol. I laugh at dat statement.

Oh, that Orangina commercial is HILARIOUS! I had no idea how big of a hit it was in France. I just thought no one around here knew about it. Good stuff, isn't it?

And with all this extra summer time I have I've been addicted to internet memes. I had orginally thought Advice Dog was the best until I found Insanity Wolf! So funny. Here are some of my favorites.

This one reminds me of Mr. Hardin and M. Shadows at the same time.

And here are Zacky's parents...

His dad. Hot.

Love & America,

Gretchen





Titanic.

Hello friend! I'm very sorry to hear about your allergies D: However, you mentioning Orangina MADE. ME. DIE. In France there are commercials for it everywhere xD Plus it's served in nearly every restaurant.

These are the kind of weird, crazy Orangina commercials they have here in France...

Anyway, as for updates, there isn't much to report on. Yesterday I went to Galeries Lafayette and looked at maybe.... ten thousand pairs of shoes. Holy. Crap. I felt like a Lambesis Princess. I have literally never seen so many pairs of shoes in my WHOLE LIFE. We also looked at makeup and perfume, yay!

And for dinner I had my first taste of French pizza! It was crazy weird, and crazy good! 

One had onions, mushrooms, artichoke, peppers, and capers, then the other one had mozzarella, gorgonzola, goat cheese, and crème fraîche. Soo tasty. 

mmmmm, blacks!

You should hang this up outside of your house.

Biruk got lucky. He does not have a traditional African name...

Anyway, I'm done posting about black people and slaves!

Love and Biruk,

Alice.