Etsy fun

Since I really don't have anything to do right now, I'll send you some of the funniest/weirdest crap I can find from Etsy.com! I got my wonderful AILD leggins from there.

Corey Taylor would look nice in this. Pencil skirt to accentuate his thick neck!

This is just disgusting... and why wild animal fabric?

This just makes me wonder why is says, "OH THAT"

This is just something from my darkest nightmares

This is just too ugly for words

They have one for each member. This is just hilarious because his hair look like skin graphs on his head. And because it's Johnny Christ!!

Happy 4th of July!!

So it's the 4th of July. Like that matters in France. Here are some truly American images.

Joshua♥

Sex face.

But, I have to work at night, tonight. I hear we can sometimes see a firework or two from the window at Rita's. EFFF DATTTT. I want to hang out with friends and not work like a slave. And we don't get holiday pay or anything! A lot of companies pay time and a half or even double but NOOOOO not Rita's. Not cool at all. And I got a 10 cent raise this year. Ugh. Stupid shits. Did I mention I love my job?? XD Lol. I laugh at dat statement.

Oh, that Orangina commercial is HILARIOUS! I had no idea how big of a hit it was in France. I just thought no one around here knew about it. Good stuff, isn't it?

And with all this extra summer time I have I've been addicted to internet memes. I had orginally thought Advice Dog was the best until I found Insanity Wolf! So funny. Here are some of my favorites.

This one reminds me of Mr. Hardin and M. Shadows at the same time.

And here are Zacky's parents...

His dad. Hot.

Love & America,

Gretchen





Titanic.

Hello friend! I'm very sorry to hear about your allergies D: However, you mentioning Orangina MADE. ME. DIE. In France there are commercials for it everywhere xD Plus it's served in nearly every restaurant.

These are the kind of weird, crazy Orangina commercials they have here in France...

Anyway, as for updates, there isn't much to report on. Yesterday I went to Galeries Lafayette and looked at maybe.... ten thousand pairs of shoes. Holy. Crap. I felt like a Lambesis Princess. I have literally never seen so many pairs of shoes in my WHOLE LIFE. We also looked at makeup and perfume, yay!

And for dinner I had my first taste of French pizza! It was crazy weird, and crazy good! 

One had onions, mushrooms, artichoke, peppers, and capers, then the other one had mozzarella, gorgonzola, goat cheese, and crème fraîche. Soo tasty. 

mmmmm, blacks!

You should hang this up outside of your house.

Biruk got lucky. He does not have a traditional African name...

Anyway, I'm done posting about black people and slaves!

Love and Biruk,

Alice.

Oopsiez.

Sorry dat I didn't post for a while! Yesterday I worked late and fell alseep early, and today I went to Peddler's Village with my mom and my allergies were bad and so I fell alseep when I got home. Dayum. Rough day. Anyway, we had a really good time and all I got was a ring for $4.23. It's really cute, though! Now I'm almost finished drinking a 33.8 FL OZ bottle of Orangina! Ever had that stuff? So. Big. Good. But unfortunately I still feel pretty crappy. Tissue box by my side, snifflin' and shiz. Not terribly fun. I certainly hope you're having a better time right now than myself!

Here's a picture of Arin Ilejay (currently drumming for Avenged) after he ate something he was allergic to. I don't think I feel that bad, but this is the best picture I have to sum it up.

I was just creepin' on Meet The Lambo's and found this.

Apparently that is a Sarah Palin magnet. What do they give this kid to play with!?

So... yeah. Sorry for my update, or lack there of. Pretty uneventful. Maybe something great will happen tomorrow. LOL JK, doubtful. I'm working. I just want these dang sniffles gone. Alright, for now, adios!

Love & tissues,

-Gretchen



Eminem.

Oh haiiiiiiiiiiiii! I'm listening to Mr. Marshall Mathers right now. I'm a big fan. Anyway, late update, cuz I came home at one in da mornin last night lolz.
Anywho, I really like that color of nail polish! I haven't ever used anything like that.

So let's see. Yesterday was pretty hot. Again. Ew. But I went to go see the Galeries Lafayette yesterday! It's this huuuuuge building full of stores that I could never dream to afford anything from. Ex: Hermès, Chanel, Dior, etc. Buuut, I did try on some lovely Chanel shoes! Too bad they were 400 Euros. ON SALE. WTFFFF. Apparently, according to my sister's fiance, who took me, a bunch of rich Middle Eastern ladies come there and literally spend all day shopping. Loserz! 

This is the center of the Galeries Lafayette.... I know... crazy!

This is the dome at the top. It is SO beautiful.

I also saw the Opera house. It was stunning. Didn't get any pictures... too many peepz.

After that, my sister joined us and we went to go see Blue Valentine. I thought it was great; I recommend it! Sad, but very realistic. After we got out of the movie theater... started rainin' all up in dis bitch! Aaaand we went to dinner. Though it took forever for us to get seated (French people will sit in a restaurant for HOURS), it was worth it because the food was delicious! I got this thing which was a big piece of bread topped with tomato sauce, zucchinis, mozzarella, and pesto. YUM.

Not a cocktail.. just soda water wit grenadine lolz.

 Afterwards, we sprinted to the metro and went to Montmartre, where it stopped raining.. Literally translated, Mountain of the Martyrs. Cuz dey are all buried up in dat place. It took about 489725 flights of stairs to get up there, but definitely worth it! Then some black guy selling some light up toy starting yelling at me in Russian. I. DIED. LOLOLOL. Nothing he said made much sense. On the way back down from Montmartre was such a cute town. Sooo European and pretty! Anyway, from there, we made our way back home.

I think that's all the interesting stuff that happened!

I hope Gabe takes some time away from hanging out with Max Green to see his friends with eyebrows (lyk u).

Soda & Eyebrowz,

Alice.

Ewwwwwwwww why is my last post all white and weird!?!?!!? I do not like that.

French bread; American fries

Boy, I love baguettes, I can't imagine how incredible they would be straight from France! And I thought the ones from Whole Foods were good... :\

Earlier today Johanna and I hung out. (You're probably starting to see a pattern here) We went to lunch at Baja Fresh, American Spanish food, I bet Gabe's mom could cook a mean Spanish meal! Then I finally purchased a nailpolish I've been longing for, for such a long time. 'For Audrey' by China Glaze.

I'm SO obsessed with this color. It's on my fingers and my toes, now!

So after our little lunch and shopping expedition we came back to my house and realized that we wanted to go to the pool, since it was opened. What a mistake. We jumped in. Got cold. And were gone in 20 minutes. Eff dat. Later we went over to Jack Frost, were Johanna worked for like... 2 days, and got some milkshakes. They were so damn tasty! And split from fries.
My new obsessed is this YouTube channel. The Greatest Freakouts Ever! This is the first video and still is the best video. It makes me laugh so hard that I cry. Just watch what this kid does with the remote. XD

Genius.

Alright, well The Sims seem to be calling my name. I need to tend to my family of myself and Gabe. Dream. Come. True. He's all buff and I'm hot! Totes like real lifeee♥ Enjoy the freakout and have a great dayy!

Love & remotes,
Gretchen