Oopsiez.

Sorry dat I didn't post for a while! Yesterday I worked late and fell alseep early, and today I went to Peddler's Village with my mom and my allergies were bad and so I fell alseep when I got home. Dayum. Rough day. Anyway, we had a really good time and all I got was a ring for $4.23. It's really cute, though! Now I'm almost finished drinking a 33.8 FL OZ bottle of Orangina! Ever had that stuff? So. Big. Good. But unfortunately I still feel pretty crappy. Tissue box by my side, snifflin' and shiz. Not terribly fun. I certainly hope you're having a better time right now than myself!

Here's a picture of Arin Ilejay (currently drumming for Avenged) after he ate something he was allergic to. I don't think I feel that bad, but this is the best picture I have to sum it up.

I was just creepin' on Meet The Lambo's and found this.

Apparently that is a Sarah Palin magnet. What do they give this kid to play with!?

So... yeah. Sorry for my update, or lack there of. Pretty uneventful. Maybe something great will happen tomorrow. LOL JK, doubtful. I'm working. I just want these dang sniffles gone. Alright, for now, adios!

Love & tissues,

-Gretchen



Eminem.

Oh haiiiiiiiiiiiii! I'm listening to Mr. Marshall Mathers right now. I'm a big fan. Anyway, late update, cuz I came home at one in da mornin last night lolz.
Anywho, I really like that color of nail polish! I haven't ever used anything like that.

So let's see. Yesterday was pretty hot. Again. Ew. But I went to go see the Galeries Lafayette yesterday! It's this huuuuuge building full of stores that I could never dream to afford anything from. Ex: Hermès, Chanel, Dior, etc. Buuut, I did try on some lovely Chanel shoes! Too bad they were 400 Euros. ON SALE. WTFFFF. Apparently, according to my sister's fiance, who took me, a bunch of rich Middle Eastern ladies come there and literally spend all day shopping. Loserz! 

This is the center of the Galeries Lafayette.... I know... crazy!

This is the dome at the top. It is SO beautiful.

I also saw the Opera house. It was stunning. Didn't get any pictures... too many peepz.

After that, my sister joined us and we went to go see Blue Valentine. I thought it was great; I recommend it! Sad, but very realistic. After we got out of the movie theater... started rainin' all up in dis bitch! Aaaand we went to dinner. Though it took forever for us to get seated (French people will sit in a restaurant for HOURS), it was worth it because the food was delicious! I got this thing which was a big piece of bread topped with tomato sauce, zucchinis, mozzarella, and pesto. YUM.

Not a cocktail.. just soda water wit grenadine lolz.

 Afterwards, we sprinted to the metro and went to Montmartre, where it stopped raining.. Literally translated, Mountain of the Martyrs. Cuz dey are all buried up in dat place. It took about 489725 flights of stairs to get up there, but definitely worth it! Then some black guy selling some light up toy starting yelling at me in Russian. I. DIED. LOLOLOL. Nothing he said made much sense. On the way back down from Montmartre was such a cute town. Sooo European and pretty! Anyway, from there, we made our way back home.

I think that's all the interesting stuff that happened!

I hope Gabe takes some time away from hanging out with Max Green to see his friends with eyebrows (lyk u).

Soda & Eyebrowz,

Alice.

Ewwwwwwwww why is my last post all white and weird!?!?!!? I do not like that.

French bread; American fries

Boy, I love baguettes, I can't imagine how incredible they would be straight from France! And I thought the ones from Whole Foods were good... :\

Earlier today Johanna and I hung out. (You're probably starting to see a pattern here) We went to lunch at Baja Fresh, American Spanish food, I bet Gabe's mom could cook a mean Spanish meal! Then I finally purchased a nailpolish I've been longing for, for such a long time. 'For Audrey' by China Glaze.

I'm SO obsessed with this color. It's on my fingers and my toes, now!

So after our little lunch and shopping expedition we came back to my house and realized that we wanted to go to the pool, since it was opened. What a mistake. We jumped in. Got cold. And were gone in 20 minutes. Eff dat. Later we went over to Jack Frost, were Johanna worked for like... 2 days, and got some milkshakes. They were so damn tasty! And split from fries.
My new obsessed is this YouTube channel. The Greatest Freakouts Ever! This is the first video and still is the best video. It makes me laugh so hard that I cry. Just watch what this kid does with the remote. XD

Genius.

Alright, well The Sims seem to be calling my name. I need to tend to my family of myself and Gabe. Dream. Come. True. He's all buff and I'm hot! Totes like real lifeee♥ Enjoy the freakout and have a great dayy!

Love & remotes,
Gretchen



Orange katz.

Me and Orange Kat say hello!

This kitty belongs to an old lady in the apartment complex, and he was just strollin' around the courtyard when I came out (of the closet)! SO obvs, I had to take a picture with him. What a cutie! Otherwise, it was too hot to go out. 100 degrees today! This is totally unusual for Paris. My sister and I went to look for some French classes (they were full >:( ) and then we bought ice cream and made samosas LOL. Delishhh!

Let's see, there was also yesterday, which was totally fun. My sister and I went to the French market! We got fresh fruits (figs the size of apples) and vegetables, freshly baked bread (baguette, of course), and fresh cheese! The fish-man kept trying to sell me fish, and I was like uh. non, merci xD and he was like, I'll even cook it for you! Eventually my sister and I left, and the man was talking about how us women were breaking his heart xDD oh, French men. At least he's not like the drunk ones, who try to hug you.

Later we took a walk to this lawn thing, where people come with their families or just to lay out and tan.

Here's a picture of da French lawn!

We were there for a few hours, then got dressed all cute and went to Champs Elysee to meet up wit da sisterz fiance. It's this huuuge main street leading up to the Arc de Triomphe, and there are all these rich Middle Eastern tourists there xD Plus stores like Louis Vuitton and Cartier that I could never think to afford. 

We walked around, visited the Arc de Triomphe, and then saw "The Very Bad Trip 2" (said in a French accent). Which is the translation for... THE HANGOVER HAHAHHHAHA. French people are so funny. 

Well, that's about it! As for the makeup, I really like it! And it looks like the party was fun, that picture made me CRACK UP.

My sister has no pets, just me :(

Anyway, I hope Stella and you enjoy da orange cat (who is apparently named Caramel, awwww)!

Baguettes and Cat Fur,

Alice.

Pertyin'

Sorry I didn't update in a while! Yesterday I was at Jill & Liv D.'s birthday party! We had such a great time. The last of us up didn't fall alseep until after 6 AM. Hardcore partyin' right there. So today didn't even feel like a real day to me. Whatever that means. I fell asleep nearly 100 times and still don't feel normal. The follow is perhaps my favorite picture of the night, the caption is, "Reaction to finding out your wife is pregnant."

Most attention should be payed to Liv.

I love her.

I wish I had more exciting news for you. ...but I don't. Well, here are some other pictures!

Obviously I'm really into makeup but lately I've been REALLY into it, trying new things out and all. I used a few Kat Von D colors as well as a pink from a brand called Hard Candy.

 Mascara got a little clumpy. Otherwise, I like!

Stella says, "Hi!"

D'awwwwwww she's so pritttttttyyyy.

Does your sissy have any pets? Lizard? Cat? Dragon? Elf? Slave?

Love & elves,

-Gretchen



I Luv Perverts

HHAHAHAHAHHAHA. omg. his boots were made for walkin'! that's possibly the funniest thing that I have ever seen. How do they know our lives so well?
As for your Daily Booth... holy. crap. Sooo funny! I got the biggest kick out of Ray Charles. And for bald men (not joe). I actually creeped on Steven Valera's Daily Booth as well..... LMFAO. It made all of yours so much funnier because I actually understood the captions. Why is he so goddamn weird? NO ONE CARES ABOUT HIS LIFE.

tehehehhe. he looks constipated. gotta poop.

Now let's see what I did today. I woke up around 12. Then had sum french cereal and a white peach! So tite.   

My sister and I decided to go for a run today, and the weather was peeeerfeeeect. We ran around the Bastille and then through like some gardens and "la promenade". We stopped around some lawn that was really cute, because it was so pretty. And there were a lot of people with their kids. Cute French kids! Plus some tanning old ladies... in their bathing suits... EWH. Apparently there isn't too much sun in France, so when their is, everyone lays out and tans?

After that I pretty much just napped, had yogurt with granola for lunch and then went out for the night! 

Today there was a Gay Pride thing around the Bastille, and it was so funny. I have never seen so many gay people in my LIFE. and lezzies. They were all super friendly and sang to me xDD Probably because 90% of the people there were drunk.... and a little rowdy! There were ambulences all over da place, and broken glass and stuff. French. People. Are. Crazy. When we were making our way to the metro, these guys were apparently saying some pretty nasty stuff. They were these three drunk guys, and pretty much the only thing I understood is that they were saying "blonde girl" and "Can I have sex?" LMAO. Finally sister and I met up with her fiance, and we got food at this lil Japanese restaurant. I got cucumber avocado rolls, miso soup, rice, and this like.... fried cheese? It was cheese on a stick fried in rice flakes. It was actually delicious. We took the food to this very pretty park and had a picnic. There was a little lake there with boats and everything :D 

  Now for some exclusive pics that will never be shown to the general public!

Cannot believe this discovery

Almost dropped dead when I saw this. Found it on Tumblr.



Max Green in Handsum

WHOA. WHITE BABY. BLACK PARENTS. Reverse Lambesis family. Mind fuuuuh! So it's 1 AM and I like, JUST, got back from Johanna's house. We were being complete idiots all night long. Ever heard of Daily Booth? We LOVE it. It's the dumbest thing ever and we found Steven has one, not Spence, Grease, and so originally we just mocked everything he did but then we got a little more adventurious and did our own weird stuff. If you'd like to see, here you go: Our Daily Booth (Timsballs666) Yup, Tim's balls. So if you ever start to miss our ridiculously weird antics, just check the Daily Booth and you'll be remember in the strangest of ways!!

That was a very beautiful picture of Max Green you showed me! But personally, I think his makeup is just goregous in this one.

Not scary or anything. He's a MAC boy.

Dear Max Green,

Grow eyebrows.

Sincerley,

Everyone.

What a weird mofo. Why would he EVER think that looks acceptable?!!? I DON'T GET IT! Escape The Fate is unfortunately on the Uproar Festival, on the main stage!! WTF!? Not cool. They're one of those bands I don't care about, yet I've seen more than some bands I actually love. I'm pretty sure this will be my thrid time seeing them. Same with blessthefall. Hate them. Saw them three times. I've seen both more than Nightwish! WTF!? I LOVE NIGHTWISH! I think Nightwish and HIM should tour together because they're both Finnish and we should totally go together and have the greatest time ever.

Honestly, I want you to see HIM so bad.

I want you to have the amazing explosion of emotions inside your body when your favorite band of all time walks out on stage. There is nothing in the world like it. I don't think I'll be as happy when I have my first child as I am when I see Synyster Gates beautiful self grace the stage. Well, yes I will. Because the father will BE Synyster Gates! AHAHAHH! SPERM!

WTF. Insane.

Oh, totally forgot to ask you! What's the deal with your next school year? Are you definitely going to spend it in France or is that still up in the air? Just wondering. As much as I don't want you do leave again, I think it'd be an incredible experience for you and it would look really good for colleges. WTF A LIGHTENING BUG FLEW INTO MY HAND WHILE I WAS TYPING. Ewwwwwwww. It's on my keyboard and it's lighting up. GTFO, Bug!

Love & black people,

-Gretchen

Weirdos.

My sister showed me this French video, and it is HILARIOUS.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q4FamibkUH4

You should read the translation in the description. I actually sort of died.

I took a six hour nap today.... oh jeez!

We just had some nice French dinner a couple of hours ago! My sister baked potatoes with leeks and this really tasty cheese. Then some "lamb's lettuce" for the salad. With vinaigrette and olive oil, yummy!

We talked about how some totally African woman had a baby with this lighter skinned black guy, and their baby was WHITE. With blonde hair and blue eyes... WTF?! 

Anyway, it's like 12 AM, so I need to get a little shuteye. 

Nighty night, well, good evening for you....I'll update some more when I get up!

Max Green and I send all of our love over his lovely cellphone!

Wish I Was There!!!

 So it's 1 PM and I just woke up. I need to become a touring musician some day, no other occupation will suit my sleep schedule. My god, those pictures are incredible. It makes me want to travel so bad! That tradition with the locks with your lover's name. So. Cute. Let's just say I'd be putting up locks like their's no tomorrow. Syn, Nick, Gabe. That's probs it. Maybe I'll put 2 up for Syn. I was actually just thinking about seeing him in front of me again and I got a lump in my throat. And then a bulge in my paaaants! ;D Keepin' it French right now, here's some pictures of A7X playing in Lille, France. (Relatively near you!) Don't worry, they were there before you got to France. If you came when they were there they would have picked you up, (literally) at the airport.

Genetic masterpiece of a man♥

Spread ya legs!

Got no parents.

I also found out we're not taking a legit vacation this year. And I want to die. However, we WILL be taking some weekend trips and day trips and whatnot. There is one I'd really like to do, it's still up in the fire, but I REALLY hope we go. Let's explain, it's kind of confusing...

So, there is this musician named Levon Helm, he's like 70 and he's the most adorable old man on the planet. See?

I wish he was my grandpa :'(

So, now he has a solo career but he used to be the drummer of a band called, "The Band." They were HUGE around like Grateful Dead time. Levon does these concerts at his house, his actual house, in Woodstock, New York called, Midnight Rambles. My family went to a ramble a few years back, but then I wasn't as into his music. Now, I LOVE it. It's great. Not typical of what you think I'd like, but I just love it. So, we might be going to see one of his shows and hang out in Woodstock for a few days. I REALLY HOPE WE GO! Not only do I love seeing Levon play, (he gave me a drumstick last time I saw him) but Woodstock is just the cutest little hippie town you'd ever want to see! And I could get some great pictures to show you!

Well, I need to get some food! I can't decide between leftover pizza or macaroni and cheese! UGH. Life decisions. Guess I'll flip a coin. Or toss a midget.

Love & no parents,

-Gretchen



That Fire In France. Aka Me.

Sooo, let's start with the music video. I think it's enough to say that I needed a change of pants after I watched it.

My sister watched it, too! I had to show her "The Making Of", as well. She has a big crush on Steve Spence. Mmmm, muscles!

Eye Candy. AKA Steve.

Otherwise, CONGRATZ on your permit and the fact dat you get to see all those sexys at uproar!!!! JEALOUS. And the Rita's pictures made me DIE. My sister pretty much reads this blog when I do, and she thinks it's the most amusing thing xD

Today was very nice. My sister had to work, so her fiance took me all around Paris sightseeing! I saw the 

Musée de Cluny:

Aaaaaand the Notre Dame:

It was actually breathtaking. I have never seen something that awesome. The detail on the side is INCREDIBLE. Movies and pictures cannot even compare. Me & U r going there someday.

Next, we walked along La Seine, which is the river running through Paris, and the Notre Dame is right next to it.

There are a bunch of bridges to cross the river, but on the one closest to the Notre Dame is pretty damn cool.

The sides of the bridge are like grates, and they are FULL of locks. Apparently, there is a tradition that if you write your name and the name of the person you love on the lock, and then put the lock on the bridge, you will live happily ever after. How cool is that??? A bunch of locks had notes attached, and one even had a rose through it. Aw <3

Then we had falafel for lunch. Holy. Crap. IT WAS SO DELICIOUS. There is NO falafel like that in America, fo sho! I had it in a pita with eggplant, hummus, lettuce, tomatoes, onions, and tahini sauce. There was sooo much more you could put on it, but I took the easy way out haha.

Then we met with my sister, and she and I went to the Luxembourg gardens. It was absolutely beautiful. The Luxembourg Palace was too. I could see the top of the Eiffel Tower from there!! :D Hopefully I'll see that soon.

Some flowers.

Da lawn. (the trees are in aisles... SO COOL)

Da palace!

Aaaaand now I'm home after a nice long walk back. Btw, French people walk EVERYWHERE. And take the metro if they reeaaally have to. Bye, feet!

That's about all that I have to update on so far! I hope America isn't too hot and stuff. 

Ciao!

xoxo,

Alice the Frenchwoman.

Black Tide video for "That Fire"

Holy. Friggin. Crap. This is worthy of it's OWN post. Black Tide's new video for That Fire just came out and it is possibly the hottest thing I've ever seen. Not to mention, I'm QUITE jealous of these girls with Gabe... Not sure I like that. They're feeding him strawberries. :'( I should be feeding him strawberries. Other than that tiny set back, he looks HOT. I wish they showed a bit more of Zakk, however. And Steven. And Austin. It's mainly Gabe. Yeah, he is my favorite, but the other guys are just as important! (Quick note here, I actually wrote "importnoy" on accident. I do not kid you.)

Black Tide - That Fire

I really hope you being in France doesn't affect your viewing of the video! If so, do not fear, they said it should be up on YouTube relatively soon. I'll let you know as soon as it's up. For now, however, I'd like to share with you my favorite screen caps of the video and all the best moments.

Bitch feedin' my man strawberries. Bitch ain't 'gun be livin' much longer.

Pritty earz. *facepalm*

Bed on fire.

Steven's reaction to Gabe dissin' his fiancee

My favorite part. Steven with champagne. Delicious.

Married. He's practicing for me. :)

So, overall reaction to the video. I loves it. I love, love, LOVE it. Totes jealous of those girls, but in the end I think I love that wedding dress. But mine will be way better.

Love & fire,

-Gretchen



Meanwhile in America...

So glad to here you arrived safe, sound and tite. I can't wait to see some pictures! How different is Paris from Abington? I just imagine it to be so cultural, with happy people eating cute desserts all the time. I had no idea how they smelled like poop. I'm very sorry to hear that.

Today I finally got my permit! It's been too long. Pretty much the entire Clan already has their permits. And I'm da oldest. I suck. Well, at least I got it. I'm going to drive tonight. Drive off a cliff. OH! And today I also got tickets to see the Uproar Festival!! XD SOOOOOOO STOKEDDDDD. Avenged and Black Tide. I'm going to mess my pants. Steven Spence and M. Shadows in one day?! I don't know if I can handle all those tite bodiez. Let da bodies hit da floor.

So, so yesterday at glorious work, a group of azians from California came that never had waterice before! It was so funny because they were so amazed with my gelati's. They took pictures of me with their gelati's and stayed for like, an hour. So crazy. They tipped me really well, which was nice. They were all very sweet and It was kind of funny how amused with something as simple as waterice, they were. Here is an average day at Rita's:

Phil's head is all twisted around, Ville is making a gelati and I am handing Tim his Blendini. *Note to Alice: Never get a Blendini. Poop would taste better.*

And here's a picture of some Jews at Rita's. They look very Jewish.

Today I have off, so I am going to enjoy that.

Love & gelati's

-Gretchen



Just a Lil Extra

Okay, just saying, I have NO friggin idea what time it is. My body is so confused. Apparently it's 8 AM in America? and 2 PM here? it says 14:31 on the stove.... at first i was like wut. WHAT IS GOING ON.
Plus blogspot and like every other website is in French. I AM AN AMERICAN, DAMMIT.

He's not. He's an Austrian Death Machine.

PAIRIZ, FRANZ

So I might as well start you off from my arrival to the airport. Everything went by super quick, thank GOD, even though the black lady wiped my palms... at least she didn't make me get nehkeddd! And then I bought some Green Machine. Which was so delicious and expensive. $4.50 for that ish! DAT A JOKE?!

Then some retard girl at the gate was on the phone and was like "It's haaaaaaaawwwwwt............ I don't know, but it's haaaawwwwt." Shut up, idiot! I have enough noise with those gay weird german choir kids.

Finally, an hour and a half later, I got on the plane. I sat between an azian couple and a middle aged-to-old french man.

Turns out, the damn plane didn't even have wifi! i was mad. because i couldn't read or update our blog >:(

so instead, I watched 'Just Go With It' (funny movie), an episode of Entourage, an episode of the Simpsons, and the first twenty minutes of 'True Grit', which I have already seen... 

They didn't have any good music options... it was all classic rock crap, and easy listening, and smooth jazz. How bout dat metal?Q!??! oh, a Q. So then I wuz really sleepy around 2 AM American time so I went to sleep.

This is my plane. Except it was in the air and people were on the inside. But it WAS U.S. Airways!

No peanuts :(

So it was quite a tite squeeze between azians and french man, because that man used both of the armrests, and azian lady put literally all of her body onto the seat, curled up in a ball. I had nowhere to lean, and my butt was crampin up! I only got to sleep for like... two hours. suckzzzzz. I decided to turn on the GPS and see where we were and stuff. The light from the screen made french man wake up and look unhappy but HAHAH I DON'T CARE. We had traveled 2000 miles so far, were going 600 miles per hour, and were 37,000 feet in the air. And fun fact, it was -67 degrees outside of the plane in da cloudz! 

      Anyway, for breakfast we had little danishes. French man asked me if I wanted his! I was like aw, no.

Then we landed, and I pooped cuz i was so scared that i was gunna die. Once I was off the plane, a french man (not the one off of the plane, lulz) checked my passport and was quite pleased to know that I spoke a little French! Clearly the other American retards on the plane didn't. Found my sister, got on the metro, got on the subway, got to parizzzzzzzzzz!

Btw, french people... VERY pushy, very rude, dirty, and smelly: 96% of them. the parisians, anyway. 

But my sister's fiance is very nice, I like him! Funny foreign man, teheheheh.

Dis is not him.

So I got to the apartment, washed up, and went to a cafe! I got coffee , and we all had croissants, pain au chocolat (a chocolate pastry that is to DIE for), and some other fun pastries. It was so yummy and French!

Then we went to the French market to get fruits and vegetables; there are all these kinds that I've never seen or had before. Literally the cutest place I've ever been to.

It's just like a million stands. They have ones for seafood and clothes and stuff, too. I'm going back on Sunday because apparently that's when they have stands with all these different types of breads and cheeses, plus a stand with an Italian lady selling rugs! And all this other fun stuff.

So that's pretty much all I did today. It was exhausting and amazing. I'll take some pictures of the apartment and the city later on once I've had a nice jet lagged nap :D 

P.S. I laughed so hard at the questions and shtuff, especially Syn fancying Zacky. Ewwww!

P.P.S. I DID hear 'That Fire' and I swear to god, I DIED. POOP EVERYWHERE. SO AMAZING. I want to listen to it on loop until I die.

P.P.S. Tim looks beautiful with all the fish. From Nick's tatt. 

One more quick thing!

If you didn't already take notice of "Tim's Aquatic Wonderland," take a second to do so. I found out you can add all sorts of "gadgets" to your blog. So I found this one called FISH! And I was able to put a background on it. So I wuz lyke duhh Tim!!

Hope you like fish swimming on Tim as much as I do.

To my big, tite friend:

Hey Alice! I just wanted to beat you to the first post. Hopefully this will be able to keep you somewhat occupied on the plane. That flight ain't gonna feel short. And I hope you can get some sleep. Unless you're sitting next to a big fat man with rolls hitting you. If so, I feel so sorry for you. Here are a few stupid ass questions that might make you laugh! But don't laugh until you snort, that would be totes awkss. Like Tim in... every situation imaginable.

Oh, let's just call him.

                                                                         Wait. Wut?

                                          Dub-tee-eff. Dey ain't gei. Dubstep. Gud muzik.

This is just funny.

Here are some nice tite hot big fun gud big big big hawt picturez as well.

"I really love your hair!" Val.

                                            HOOOOOOOOOO. That sleeve looks SO TITE.

What would you do if Mike Portnoy flew in here, pooped, and fly away? That is the only question.

LOLOLOLOL. Syn's dog, Pinkly. Hates life. 

And I think this should be in the running for the funniest picture in the world. Zacky is not amused.

Well, I suppose now as a blogger, I/we should blog about our lives. So, today I set my alarm for 11 because yesterday I woke up at 2 and I was like "oh shiiiiiiiii." I got up at 12 because my dad wouldn't stop calling the house and I was ready to jump out the window. At least it got me up. Then I was stalking Winds of Plague on Facebook. Mainly their keyboardist, Alana. I hate her. She's perfect. Then I did my makeup all nice and such and realized that I have nothing to do today, but go to work at 6. Fuhhhh dat. Then I played piano for a while, then I switched to guitar. Now I'm on the computer writing this for you, contemplating what I should do next. Maybe play the Sims? The Sims is honestly my summer addiction. I started a new game this summer of me and Gabe. <3 He tried to make waffles but he ended up setting the kitchen on fire. 'Tard. So I bet you heard, "That Fire"? Did you piss yourself? Cause I did. I think that is one of the greatest Black Tide songs TO DATE. And I think that music video is going to be SO HOT that I melt in my shoooooes. Where did Gabe get that BODY!? I still imagine him as a child, not a man. Haha. Johanna, the same.

Alright, well that's about all for right now. I'll also make a point to tell you interesting work stories. Some of them are really funny. Some are not. So have a safe flight and I hope it's not too long and boring! Watch a movie or something. What airline are you on? DEMAND MORE PEANUTS. And cocktails 'cause it's 5:00 somewhere! XD How gay.

PS: I thought I heard thunder and I was like WTF but turns out it was just my neighbor Dick, moving their trashcans!! Oh, Dick!! Don't wake Dick!

Love & peanutz,

-Gretchen